Recap, McGillacutty Style.

WS III Game 8 Recap by Most, The

In the largest tourney the 4SPT has seen in months, more than a few questions were raised, and re-raised. All of them will find their answers here:

When is the last time we have seen a Degenerate-less final tabe? (over 7 months ago)

Did Cheyenne seriously take it down last night? (Yes)

What was Holsey referring to on the night in question when I dealt the final tabe? (My lips are sealed; too controversh)

Was Dr. DILIH wearing precious metals in his sleeves? (maybe)

Did I actually park on the street last night instead of the garage, did I really get a parking ticket and what is that noise in my trunk? (yes, yes, golf balls)

Is AJ off a better hand than 88? (respect)

Is Lynn smoking hot or just hot? (the boots might have pushed her over the top)

Was the dominant force that is the Degenerates rattled last night? (absolute)

Did Richie really win money in the cash game? (s__k my balls)

Why does Jenn go with two n's iNstead of one? (How many licks in a Tootsie Pop?)

 

Indeed, many questions. Of course, the REAL question that begs answering has nothing to do with Jamie's cufflinks or what soap I use in the shower (Ivory), but with what transpired last night that afforded my favorite Sri Lankan his first 4SPT victory.

It all started when Jeff Holsey said "25-25" and people started spilling their beers all over one another. The action was fierce and furious, thanks to the previous week's debate over slow play and general inappropriateness. TIT-AL-lating looked to be the early fave, with well over 7 thou before the third level. Scrubs also made some waves in the kitchen while Silky Smooth Nuts and Lynn held their own in the basement. Following some unfortunate bourps and a few suck-outs to boot, Cheyenne emerged as a healthy chip leader, with some of the newbies giving chase.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the cash game, Suze and Jim asserted their....assertions and built decent-sized stacks of plastic chips representing green money. Richie Rich was throwing his plastic chips around with reckless abandon, which didn't seem to be working. Perhaps part of a larger plan. When Richie tightened up a bit, The Most went in the other direction, figuring he could continue to get his money in with the worst of it and emerge scathed, yet rich. Wrong.

Upstairs there was lightning, thunder, smoke and mirrors, a smattering of shenanigans and unfortunate bourpskies, and those little blue sparks you see when you drop rocks on concrete. Also unfortunate is that the guy walking around with the thumb-mic forgot the gist of every interview he conducted, so any quotes will, in fact, be highly fabricated.

When questioned point-blank about the pressure he faced as final tabe chip leader, The Fist RSVP'd with something to the effect of "no pressure really, ho-hum". His words were soft and non-threatening, while his eyes said "The next time we meet, one of us will die." Pangs of John Malkovich in The Man With the Iron Mask.

The Fist was able to follow sage advice and let a few players drop off before he started making some deft moves. First to perish was Wou-Tang: Silent Assassin. He had pocket sevens, proving once and for all that, if cards were gay, AK would be a top and 77 would be a bottom. Security in one's sexuality allows one to make these type of comments, as most of you witnessed last night.

Some of you might wonder: "But who knocked Wou-Tang out?" The answer: Who cares? All that mattered was that we were one step closer to 4SPT history.

The action continued, as Jennifer "First Lady" Chantal was ousted after making a poor read on an increasingly obnoxious Dr. DILIH. Kd9d is normally a popular hand in these parts, but not against KK. Free to conduct an extensive interview, Chantal had many interesting observations and plenty of high praise for her competitors. Quotes, you ask? I must decline. A beacon of class, everyone loves Jenn.

Only six potential champions remained!! The lack of any Degenerates sitting at the table brought a dire need for obnoxiousness, which the moustached guy with the thumb-mic was happy to provide. At this point, The Fist was the clear chip leader, with Silky Smooth and Scrubs close behind. Jeff "Complex Slim" Holsey ventured an all-in with a "bottom" hand, 88. Unfortunate bourps ensued, and The Fist's "top" A10 prevailed.

With only five players remaining, another question presented itself: Where is Max, and why is he not here to finish fifth? Burn. Blinds at this juncture of the fracas were increasing steadily, much like the BAC of the guy with the moustache. At 800-1600, the price of poker was as high as Clayton. Not much breathing room to make any moves. Silky Smooth Nuts soon learned the age-old adage that if you move all-in with the deuce-trey off, you are a champion of sorts. He then learned that if you don't have any chips, you finished in fifth place, just out of the money. Awwwwww.

The next to fall, much to the dismay of the under-sexed moustachio, was the tour's newest addition, Lynn. She had K6, which unbeknownst to many, does not beat K7. A good sport, she stayed to polish off her beer.

Three left, and it's almost lunchtime. Corndogs! A corndog in his own right, Scrubs continued to show that he is a man of quality, of brevity, of....-ity. He was also a man without plastic chips, as his ?? was taken down to Chinatown with someone's ??

Heads up! McGillacutty! What have you! Cheyenne "The Fist" Pieris vs. Jamie "Drop It Like It Were Hot" McGilla! Absolutely fantastic! Nearly identical chip stacks! Excitement abounded, much like the days of Nintendo and Excitebike, where you could create your own course! Filthy!

Who would reach into the depths of their soul and win the title of Thursday Night Champion? Who would avoid the utter devastation of finishing second well after midnight? Who could possibly prevail with a sweaty, drunk redhead with a moustache yelling inappropriate and asinine comments directed at no one in particular? Many questions, indeed, my fellow 4th streeters.

The action began with the blinds at a staggering 2000-4000, actually somewhat low considering the large field. Why was this? Well, if I had my druthers it was because people actually played swiftly and decisively throughout the tourney! Anyway, The Fist, having lost his considerable chip lead to Dr. DILIH through plenty fault of his own, decided to make some moves. Cufflinks be damned, Cheyenne was going to beat this silly chauncey at his own game, namely, getting it all-in with the worst of it. After re-raising all-in for nearly 30,000, Cheyenne appeared confident Jamie would call and he would finally have the win he had always dreamed of. Unfortunately for him, Tournament Director and ball-breaker extraordinaire Jeffrey Thomas Holsey totally f_cked up and had to reshuffle the deck while Jamie decided if this was, in fact, the unfortunate bourp he had been waiting for. No! It weren't to be. On the very next hand, however, Cheyenne pushed with the unbeatable powerhouse A6 off, making it easy for Jamie to call with A10 off. Dominated for sure, Cheyenne knew he could use his considerable card-altering mind powers to will a 6 on the flop, in Will Call's lovely home, filled with trinkets and such. That's exactly what happened folks, and the lovable Sri Lankan who took an extended leave of absence b/c he was butt-hurt had emerged victorious! A true Champion, Jamie took his loss like a man, and didn't even complain about the moustached commentator with the red poof-ball hat. Cheers!

Comments

[Slim]

instant classic.

[Storm]

Excellent work Officer Godwyn. Can't wait for this every week. I especially liked the following turn of phrase:

Excitement abounded, much like the days of Nintendo and Excitebike, where you could create your own course! Filthy!

[will]

Fantastic freakin recap, I should hire you to recap my wedding day.

[jamie]

McGillacutt-alicious

[justin]

not nearly enough to get me to say "mcgilla"

[High Noon]

Wow...what a commentary. Pulitzer worthy.

[Alek]

To pick up the pieces of my shattered 37th place finish, I am having a little cash game in Santa Monica tonight at 7:00. We have two places left. (Notices I said places, not chairs. We're still looking for those.) $20-$30 buy in, rebuys, .25/50 blinds. Interested? Call 917.355.9423. Silky Smooth will be in attendance, as will Mr. Carlo Hart.

[Shock G]

Fist, you da man!! Love that you finally got yourself the big "W"!! Long overdue, yet not entirely unpredictable, given that you are seated to my right virtually every tournament. People would obviously understand you really never had any true chance of victory before last night when I seated in the basement! Ha!

I also love when the person who takes me out goes on to victory. Makes me feel a bit better about my own life. Should be the profile to beat all profiles, I'm sure.

Eliott, hell of a job sir. I particularly loved this part:

"With only five players remaining, another question presented itself: Where is Max, and why is he not here to finish fifth? Burn." - It was easily your best work in an award winning documentary. Max had to know he had absolutely NO chance of competing once sat directly to my left for two hours. A demoralizing defeat was eminent.

By the way, E, you're officially hired full-time. (Either way, though, we should definietly have somebody do one of these every week. That seriously was a lot of fun to read!)

I will put it on record, fellow Degenerates, that despite our overall pathetic performance, I indeed was the final one standing. Ha ha! Either way, no fianl tablers, but 4 second-to-last tablers -- that count for anything!?! OK, probably not.

Fist, you da man. Enjoy it. I recommend forwarding the recap, player profile and picture to your hometown newspaper - as I did!! Fun for the whole family!
-G-

[will]

According to this news story the Texas Police are looking for Most...scroll down to see the sketch of the suspect.

[First Lady]

How did the drunk only child with a red moustache talking into a thumb microphone (and not a pea straining spoon, as I suggested) remember all these key facts? Impressive - especially the part where I go out 7th after Wou instead of 8th before the final table actually started.

[jamie]

great story...compelling, and rich

[Wou-Tang]

Also I had AJ suited, not pocket 7s.

Nonetheless, astonishing recap Officer MOSTache.

[Pibb]

Congrats Fist and nice work Most. I hope the recap is here to stay.

I highly recommend people click on Will's link to the police sketch of the Most.